DANCES WITH TREES

(Blogger's Note: There are way too many exclamation points in this story, even for me. However, you will see why once you get into it. They are necessary for me to tell the tale the way it needs to be told. . . or the way I need to tell it :)

I was raised on the Mid-Atlantic Coast. Thunderstorms are commonplace any time of the year. Every September brings hurricane season. I've seen water up to my car door handles. I've seen trash cans and flower pots turned into SCUD missiles. I've seen windows shattered and floods that would take Michael Phelps to get through it unscathed. No biggie. It's all par for the course in Joisey or thereabouts.

Yesterday, a dear friend texted me (yes, I've finally arrived in the texting age!) and asked me if I could pick her up from work and take her home because her car was still in the shop. No problem. At the appointed time (plus maybe 5-10 minutes "just in case" -- I'm quirky that way), I take off. Now I had actually glanced at the Weather Bug on my computer before I left. It said "thunderstorm watch." We laugh in the face of thunderstorms. . . HAH HAH HAH!!! Did I mention that it actually said "SEVERE" thunderstorms? We laugh in the face of severe thunderstorms, too. Well. . . we did.

So here I am, tooling down the road at 50-55. (Okay, okay, maybe a little faster. My nose is growing!) All of a sudden, it turns pitch black and the sky literally opens up. Instantly, the rain is so bad you can't see anything. . . and I mean nada, zippo, nuttin' honey. I calmly say to myself, "You've been there/done this before. It's okay. Just stay calm, go slow and pull over if you have to." Now the wind starts blowing hard. Everything is snapping. Trees are breaking and flying all over the road!!! Trash cans are flying above the cars. Heck, CARS are flying all over the road trying to dodge everybody and everything!!! It was a lot like in The Wizard of Oz when the house is airborne before it lands on the witch. Okay. Let's use our noggin' here. It's B-A-D. I choose discretion as the better part of valor. I pull over to the shoulder. I literally cannot see a thing except water.

It starts to slow. I pull out and advance very slowly down the road. I have a clear path as most sane people are NOT out there with me. It slows a little more. I pick up speed. All of a sudden,I hear this loud crack and then I see half-a-tree heading for my windshield!!! I figured it would come through the glass and decapitate me. I remember muttering, "Forgive me, Lord," and taking a deep breath. The loudest KABOOM I've heard in years now assaults my ears. Without still being able to see, I instinctively swerved the car hard to the right, praying I was not near a stand of trees or someone's outbuilding. I've driven this road for years, but I honestly did not know where I was.

The half-a-tree hit me square in the windshield. That was the sonic KABOOM I heard. Miraculously, the windshield didn't break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By this time, I'm crying and yelling for God to please calm it down just a little so I could see where I was. When the deluge calmed a bit and I looked out my window, me, my car and the busted tree were calmly sitting in somebody's front yard.

Okay. Now I need coffee desperately. I am not ashamed to tell you I'm shaking. Since I know where I am now, I know there's a WaWa two blocks up the street. WHEW! Well, not so WHEW!!! As I approach, I see this horrendous traffic jam. The storm knocked the light out of one of the busiest intersections in town and the WaWa is dark. No power. No coffee yet. SIGH Now I see some daylight so I cautiously proceed the mile or so to the next WaWa. They have power. There is a parking space. The light works. God is good. :)

I get out of the car now, afraid to look at my little silver PT Cruiser. Folks, this is the true miracle. There are just two small bumps and some surface scratches from the attack of the killer tree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ray says it was probably rotten which is why it snapped so easily and why it didn't do more damage, less weight. Personally, I don't care WHY it didn't kill the little silver car or me. All I know is God spared both of us this time and I am sooooooooooo grateful!!! I got my coffee, but let's just say I was "nervous" on the rest of the journey to pick up my friend. Wanna laugh? By the time I got to where she works, maybe 7 whole minutes away, the sun was shining, blue skies, you name it. Just like all the weather in South Joisey. . . if you don't like it, wait a few minutes 'cuz it's gonna change!!!

I swear to you, I will never call that little Cruiser a tin box again!!!!!!! I am still amazed. All kidding aside, I should've been dead and the car should have been totaled.

I came home to no power (as usual after any storm) with wires and trees down all over. Our house wasn't damaged either and there are some pretty close trees that have to be removed. Everyone in my world came through unscathed. . . well, except maybe for my nerves. Suffice it to say that, today, I am one happy old lady! I think I need to get my sweet, precious, wonderful little car washed. He deserves it!!!!!!!!!!