Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Since this blog talks about the emotions of "us," Ray & Carla, during a somewhat trying time in our long, long, long. . . did I say long? :) . . . marriage, I often wonder what makes some couples that you never thought would make it stick together forever and why some that you just know were formed in heaven divorce sooner rather than later. I mean, hey, at our wedding, my family was making book in the front row about how many weeks this was gonna last! ROFLOL

I found this in the latest issue of Today's Christian Woman. It makes some very good points.


1. There's value in just showing up. When things get tough, hang in there for your spouse.

2. Approach problems from a new angle. If you don't, you'll find that doing what you always do brings the same results.

3. Resist the grass is greener myth. Instead, put your energy into making your marriage better. Grass is greenest where you water it.

4. Don't quit when it gets tough. A crisis is like a storm: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm, you have to keep driving.

5. Fight the battle between your ears. Resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. The most successful couples live by the motto: Forget and let it go.

--Mitch Temple, from The Marriage Turnaround (Moody)


  1. Thanks Carla! A very positive post on marriage. I'm right behind you. 22 yrs and counting!

  2. Great post, Carla. My husband and I will be married 25 years this June! It doesn't seem that long, but then again, it's hard to remember life without him.

    I especially liked the tip about fighting the battle in our minds. We have to focus on the good, not the hurts or disappointments.

  3. 28 years in September and the last 5 months have been the toughest in our whole marriage. I honestly didn't think we were going to survive it - it's been a real interesting struggle and season that we never thought we would find ourselves in - after 25 years of fulltime ministry. Thanks for your post, Carla. No marriage is perfect - even if it looks like it.

  4. I hear you, Cindy. We'll be married 37 years in August and the past few years have been the most difficult. However, we will ALL get through this. 22 years, 25 years, 28 years, 37 years, ANY years. . . they will NOT be wasted. We are all tough just to have made it this far and we WILL make it to the end and get that prize Paul talks about. Hang in there with us. God and His institution of marriage WILL prevail!!!